Monday, March 3, 2014

Oscar Sunday: Not Another Best Dressed List

For some outrageous reason, we all gather on Oscar Sunday (which is actually an official holiday now, haven't you heard?) with chips and dip or champagne (depending on how classy you are) alongside our closest friends to comment on who had the best Angie slit and hottest baby bump (I'm looking at you, Kerry Washington). We judge and tweet, attempting to one up each other with witty Oscar puns and sly remarks (Or is that just me?). We attempt to keep our eyes open as the Oscars drag on past 11:30 and fantasize about beautiful dresses we all aspire to wear. We shed a tear at the young Oscar winners (Lupita N'yongo) and stifle a laugh at Jennifer Lawrence tripping over her dress (Part II). We wonder if the experience would've been different had we seen all of these movies (particularly the shorts none of us have heard of). And we wonder how we lasted through a series of wins by Gravity. We wish we were Ellen enough to pull off a suit and dress like Glenda the good witch and we crave a pizza as Bradley Cooper and Brad Pitt grab a slice (envisioning a pizza date with our two favourite Brads). We also cringe as we worry that one lucky lady will land some grease on her Dior. We wish we were as talented as Pink and Idina Menzel and that we could just touch Pharrell's hat and Lupita's chapstick. We also dream about having hair as luscious as Jared Leto's. But most of all, we imagine what it would be like to see those dresses in the flesh. So, let's propose a toast to the winners, to the losers, to the gorgeous gowns, and to Ellen.

Are you ready for a kick-ass best-dressed list?

 NUMBER 10: Charlize Theron
Because who doesn't love Dior on Oscar night and an awkward neckline?
via Glamour
NUMBER 9: Cate Blanchett
Cate Blanchett can't get enough of her Armani and we can't get enough of Cate Blanchett. Usually, I dislike her choices. Tonight, all that embellishment made me smile.
via Glamour
NUMBER 8: Penelope Cruz
Giambattista Valli
I really love everything Giambattista Valli and this was no exception. It's pink with a bow. Is there really anything prettier? Or is there anything Penelope cannot pull off? The answer is: No and No.
via Popsugar
NUMBER 7: Portia De Rossi
Naeem Khan
The host's date obviously has to look fabulous. That usually means Naeem Khan. If nobody wears Naeem Khan, it's an anomaly.
NUMBER 6: Amy Adams
Being a total American hustler, she has to wear Gucci. That may have made no sense, but I dare you to ponder that. Deep-V or not, this woman looked gorgeous.
via Glamour
NUMBER 5: Rachel Smith
Sherri Hill
I may have had to google her to find out who she is, but I really loved her dress. In case you were wondering, she is a beauty queen and a television personality (according to Wikipedia).
NUMBER 4: Kate Hudson
Atelier Versace
I have never seen Kate Hudson look this sexy. She took it away in this deep-V Versace and don't even get me started on that cape.
NUMBER 3: Jennifer Lawrence
For once, I really loved JLaw's Dior. She may have tripped and fallen, but at least she wore red. It went perfectly with her new hair, don't you think? Best moment: Is it Dior? JLaw: How did you know!?
via Glamour
NUMBER 2: Naomi Watts
Calvin Klein
Does she always wear off-white? Yes. Does she always look amazing? Yes. If it ain't broke, don't fix it.
via Glamour
NUMBER 1: Lupita N'Yongo
Bet you weren't expecting that one. Always a winner (due to her humble pie and pastel perfect bod), Lupita is my new style icon. And the headband...why is she so PRETTY?
via Glamour
In summation, the Oscars are what dreams are made of. And so are selfies with all the coolest kids in Hollywood. Lupita is the new JLaw and Leo still has no Oscar. Oh, and Gravity stole the show from American Hustle who left with NADA. Aren't you glad you stayed up to watch this?

That's All Folks!


P.S Who else is getting pizza tomorrow?

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