Friday, December 20, 2013

A Landslide of Shoes

Good Morning Snow Angels!

Let's talk about shoes (and don't pretend those words didn't make little bits of confetti sprinkle inside your body). Allow me to state the obvious: winter has arrived full throttle and we're all knee deep in snow. At least I am. Unfortunately, that implies that it's time to take out my Sorels and disregard my fashion instincts for a moment (or 5 months). There is nothing less chic than a pair of chunky winter boots covered in shit-coloured slush (pardon my French). Some of us choose to ignore the snow and wear our leather boots anyway. Prepare yourselves because I'm going to be blunt. This is a terrible decision. Do you really want to ruin your 400$ Michael Kors riding boots? I didn't think so. The only thing less chic than Sorels is a pair of washed out, salt-stained leather knee-high boots. If you want your precious boots to remain intact, my little bit of advice is to stick to those Sorels.

Living in Canada, we are all accustomed to the heavy snowfalls contrasted by humid summer days (what is this "summer" you speak of?), which is why we have a closet full of shoes (amongst other reasons). Realistically speaking, you need those Sorels to endure the snowstorms. You also need a pair of knee high boots with a stiletto heel for a night on the town in the Fall. Don't forget that flat pair reserved for boxing week (you don't want to tire yourself out, do you?). And, let's face it, booties are ESSENTIAL to your fall wardrobe whether with a heel or without (though one of each is preferable). Oh, and let's not forget that you MUST own a pair of sneaker wedges if you know anything about Fall fashion trends. You also need a pair of convenient gym sneakers for those treks on the treadmill (especially after you promised yourself you would start going to the gym in the new year). You can't possibly live without that adorable pair of flats to pair with just about EVERYTHING in your wardrobe. For a fancy sortie, who doesn't require a pair of classic pumps to accentuate that gorgeous new peplum dress. When pedicure season comes around, a pair of wedge sandals are CRUCIAL to your survival. However, you also need a pair of flip flops for those lazy days. Sandals are a MUST for your summer vacation because frankly, who wants to wear heels in Cuba when we're all feeling a little light headed from all that alcohol?

Now, I'm not very good at math, but if I calculated correctly that adds up to...12 PAIRS. And those are just the black ones. Once you've accumulated enough black pairs, you can immerse yourself into the world of colours and nudes until your closet becomes an endless abyss of shoes and some pairs get consumed in a dark hole, only to surface once a year upon spring cleaning. HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?

It seems as though 12 pairs of shoes is the bare minimum. SAY WHAT? Now, I'm going to go out on a limb and ask the question that's circling around in all of our minds right now: are we all just spoiled? Is this a curse placed upon women to promote consumerism? Do we even NEED all these pairs? Has the 21st century created a new need by exploiting a woman's love for shoes? Are we victims of marketing tactics or guilty of adhering to an unfortunate stereotype? Raise your hand if you own more than 20 pairs. I urge you to dive into your closet, grab a pen and paper, and get counting.

Happy Friday!


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