Monday, December 1, 2014

The Finals Fashion Freakshow

Welcome, welcome. Come one, come all, to the Finals Fashion Freakshow.

Your library of choice. Any library will feature an array of ladies participating in the show. I promise that it will be better than the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. No promises though.

For the next three weeks, you can expect people from across the globe to participate in this phenomenon and exhibit their true selves in finals garb. Will it be pretty? No guarantees. It will, however, capture the eye.

Drowning in books, everyone is in a state of utter turmoil as our brains attempt to compartmentalize every single fact we've acquired over the course of the school term. Coffee is the beverage of choice to keep those beautiful eyes with their bold dark shadows as open as they can possibly be as a cause of the 5 hours of sleep that we got the night before.


First, you'll spot the BUNHEADS. These are the ladies who no longer have time to blowdry their hair. Hair salons, beware, because your prime clientele has subjected themselves to natural unruly curls spindling about and framing the face with a frizzy halo.

Then, you'll see the BAGGY GALS. Yes, I refer to those women who opt for sweatpants over jeans. There are a number of reasons they choose to go baggy during exams, but the main one remains that constant desire for food propelling them to the kitchen every 30 minutes to increase energy levels as much as possible. Nothing provides comfort quite like that chocolate bar you've been envisioning in your mind for the past hour.

The FOOD BINGERS are at your left, sneaking a snack every five minutes in the forbidden space of the library. These are the people who must ALWAYS be eating. You can spot them based on the constant crunching of their mouths. Their attempt to be silent does not go unnoticed.

As you step passed these ladies, behold the BOOK WORMS. You may have trouble getting a look at their faces, but you'll recognize them based on the multiplicity of books weighing down their tiny arms. These ladies have so much reading to do that their books have taken over their bodies.

And in the next cage, you've got the GLASSES LADIES. You have never seen them in your classes with a pair of glasses, but suddenly, they're masked by massive frames. Where is their face? They have chosen to hide their sleep deprived features and who can blame them?

And finally, get ready for...the NOSE DRIPPERS. This is as ugly as it sounds. These are the people whose immune systems have descended to such levels that they have contracted a cold that chose to creep up on them during finals. While runny noses are not very chic, the thought of being chic has simply slipped their mind as they bury themselves in books and kleenex boxes.

And that's all folks. I hope you enjoyed the circus and I expect to see you all there. Unfortunately, I am attending as well and therefore, I will not be posting any articles for the next week. Let's all focus on survival. May the odds be in your favour. Good luck and Amen.



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