Monday, August 25, 2014

The #VMAS: Let's Face It, It Was All About Beyonce

Let's get one thing clear. The VMA's are not about fashion. Or about music.

They're about one celebrity outdoing the other. In this case, everyone's goal was to outdo last year's Miley and Robin Thicke performance (without the backlash).

A lot of amazing things happened last night that you may have not noticed, so pay attention. We saw Lorde dance to Beyonce, which compensated for the absence of a performance from her. Blue Ivy did a little shake and it was the cutest thing we've ever seen in our lives. Obvi, Taytay couldn't help herself either and you can expect many gifs about it in the near future. Rita Ora's face during Anaconda took the cake for most blatant expression of utter shock. Nicki Minaj held her dress together during her trio (triette?) with Ariana Grande and Jessie J. because clearly something wasn't working and a wardrobe malfunction was in our midst (ALMOST). Kylie was WAY better dressed than Kendall (just had to get that one out there). Miley Cyrus' compensated for last year's fiasco by giving a shoutout to the homeless. AND Usher spanked Nicki Minaj (ERR...)

So, let's make this a contest or an "award show", if you will, in honour of the true meaning of the VMAs.

Nominees: Taylor Swift, Beyonce, Ariana Grande
And The Winner Is...BEYONCE
Apparently, one MUST wear glitter on stage to attract the most attention possible. Obviously, nobody can compete with Beyonce when it comes to glitter or sequins or sparkle. Though Taytay made a valiant effort, even she knows that she could not possibly beat out the Queen.

Nominees: Nicki Minaj, Beyonce, Ariana Grande
And The Winner Is...BEYONCE
I know you all think Nicki deserves this award, but Beyonce made her butt look tasteful somehow and that is no easy feat. Nicki's may have been more prominent, but Beyonce's drew us all in and therefore, she still gets this award.

Sorry, Nicki, Better luck next time.

Nominees: Iggy Azalea, Nicki Minaj, Usher
And The Winner Is...BEYONCE
Just kidding.
Of course, Iggy Azalea is the best female white rapper on the scene right now. Usher tried to rap (ish) it at the beginning of his performance, but I think that moment had us all confused. What are you doing, Usher? You're a soul man. Nicki is runner-up once again, but I'm sure she's fine with that. I'm still waiting for the Nicki and Iggy rap-off to happen.

Nominees: Sam Smith, Beyonce, 5 Seconds to Summer
And The Winner Is...BEYONCE
This time, Beyonce wins for REAL. Evidence? I actually cried during the last five minutes of her performance. Her tribute to Blue Ivy was beyond beautiful and that shout-out to feminism had me a little teary-eyed as well. Sniff Sniff. Go Queen Bey!

Nominees: The Beyonces, The Kardashians, Ariana Grande and her Nonna
And The Winner Is...THE BEYONCES
We're going to call them "The Beyonces" because clearly, she runs the world, girls. Blue Ivy's little shake during her momma's performance was probably one of the top five cutest things I've ever seen. Jay-Z looked snazzy and super proud of his wifey, who he is probably not divorcing despite the rumours. Let's hope they stay together forever and ever, guys.

The Beyonces

Nominees: Usher, Beyonce, Adam Levine
And The Winner Is...BEYONCE
As much as I love these two beautiful men, Beyonce still takes this one because she's Beyonce and let's face it, she can probably turn any straight woman. Considering that I am in LOVE with Adam Levine and Usher, that says a lot about Queen Bey.

Nominees: Katy Perry, Miley Cyrus, Kylie Jenner
And The Winner Is...BEYONCE (kidding again)
Because this had to be a category, I've decided to choose Katy Perry. She paid tribute to the 90s, keeping up with the current trends. We all miss Britney and Justin's adorable puppy love and Katy Perry brought their sexy back. I think we were all pretty pleased with the result. #feeling nostalgic
Actual best-dressed: KYLIE (even though I'm not a huge fan of the Kardashian clan, this Alexandre Vauthier was so goth chic and I seriously loved it)
Who would you vote for? Do you think Beyonce deserves the crown?

Ponder That,



No comments:

Post a Comment